Christmas Vodka cake:

Christmas Vodka cake:

As people have heard that I’ve been assembling this book, I have received endless requests for me to include my Russian uncle’s Vodka Christmas Cake recipe, so here goes.  Just read it – it’s a Russian classic!

You MUST read through carefully before you start to make it though, otherwise you will become SOOOOOO confooosed!

Prep:           Varies.

Cooking:      As long as it takes.

Course:        Well, as it’s called a cake, there might be a hint in the title….

Serves:         Never managed to find out.

Rating:         I really can’t remember


  • 1…bottle Vodka
  • Flour
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 tsp. baking powder
  • 2 cups dried fruit.
  • 1 cup water
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • Lemon juice
  • 4 large eggs
  • Nuts or something


  • Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality.
  • Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be really sure it is of the highest quality then repeat.
  • Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
  • Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
  • At this point, it is best to make sure the Vodka is still OK. Try another cup just in case.
  • Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eeggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dry of cupped fruit.
  • Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.
  • Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
  • Sample the Vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.
  • Check the Vodka.
  • Now shit….. shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.
  • Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
  • Turn the cake tin 380 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
  • Finish the Vodka and wipe the counter with the cat.
  • Merry Christmas!

Popcorn Chicken:

Popcorn Chicken:

Ah!   Now this is DIFFERENT

You MUST certainly read the whole recipe before you embark on this journey……


I received this rather unusual recipe by email from a friend who is not known for her prowess in the kitchen, so I was more than a little surprised when it arrived.       A different roast chicken recipe with amazing results:       Thank you, Janet.  I have reproduced it just as you sent it to me.

(You should know at this point that I have not yet actually tested this recipe;…..I really must try it out when can I summon up the courage.…..)

Prep:           10 mins.

Cooking:      For duration in the oven, see method.

Course:        Main

Serves:         2-4   (If they are good at cricket or baseball)

Rating:         2:  Easy (Well, it must be easy if this friend says it is………..!)

A chicken recipe that uses popcorn?        This is what she sent to me:

When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out.

Give this a try.


  • 1 chicken of whatever size you wish, to feed 4
  • 1 cup melted butter
  • 1 cup Popcorn (unpopped)
  • 1 cup stuffing
  • Seasoning


  • Preheat oven to 220 degrees.
  • Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and pepper.
  • Fill cavity with stuffing mixed with the popcorn.
  • Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. Close the door.  (This is starting to sound suspicious…..)
  • Listen for the popping sounds.
  • When the chicken’s arse blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room and lands on the table, it’s done and ready to eat.
  • Serve with pride!

And you thought I couldn’t cook ……..!


Hmmmmm…. Perhaps I was wrong to include this recipe?