Three Bean Night-time Veggie Pot For Hungry Fellers of an Intoxicated and Possibly Rowdy Nature:

Three Bean Night-time Veggie Pot For Hungry Fellers of an Intoxicated and Possibly Rowdy Nature:

Prep:           5 mins.

Cooking:      10 mins, if that.  Re-heat in the pan or in the microwave.

Course:        Late-night-snack

Serves:        AMAR – see text

Rating:         1:  Pi**ed-as-a-fart-Easy (when not too pi**ed, that is……)

This is an ideal quick veggie feast that is ideal for a bunch o’hungry boys after a night out on the tiles.  It is nice to have this ready-made before you go out.

Don’t leave it cooking though; make sure that the cooker is off whilst you are out otherwise you’ll either return to a house full of smoke – or no house.

For 3, 4, 5 or 6 fellers, depending on the ravenousnousnous (a technical term for degree of extreme hunger suffered by bunches of fairly intoxicated blokes returning from the boozer, avoiding the kebab shop) of your friends:

  • 1 Tin red kidney beans (or mixed bean salad, or barlotti beans, or…)
  • 1 Tin chopped tomatoes
  • 1 Tin butter beans
  • 1 Tin baked beans
  • Got any left-over cheese?
  • Chilli flakes or chilli powder (don’t overdo it now……..)
  • Possibly a little paprika if you have it, for flavour not heat
  • Salt to taste
  • Saucepan – probably fairly large… go borrow a big one….
  • Colander


  • Put the red kidney beans into a colander and rinse thoroughly under the cold tap.

Tinned/canned red kidney beans really do need this very thorough rinsing stage otherwise they’ll be horrible.  Ugh.

  • Put them into the saucepan. Put the chopped tomatoes in there too.  Put the saucepan on the heat.
  • Add the baked beans.
  • Rinse the butter beans as you did with the red kidneys. Put them in.
  • Bring up to the boil.
  • Add chilli flakes or powder. I prefer the flakes as the effect can be tasted quite quickly.  Powder can sometimes fail to dissolve properly and can distribute unevenly, leaving super-hot pockets.
  • Pop any cheese in that you have left over from….. but try to take the green furry bits off first (not that any bugger’ll notice if you don’t).
  • Give the saucepan a good stir, leave for 5 minutes and then taste. If more is needed, repeat.
  • Add a little sprinkling of paprika for taste, too. Give a good mix and turn the heat out.
  • Leave for your return with the fellers, when you can heat it up again (it’s always better second time that it’s heated – possibly in the pot; possibly in the microwave).
  • Serve either on toast or just plopped in a dish – most probably with a tinny or two.
  • Leave the messed-up carpet until the morning, and then get a carpet cleaning machine in – and someone quiet to use it. Preferably someone quite attractive………

Multi-coloured Courgette Canoes:

Multi-coloured Courgette Canoes:

As a vegetable dish, why not try multi-coloured courgette canoes.  This will turn the heads of most people – especially good for the veggie-types.

Prep:          1 hour (it’s not difficult, just an amount of fiddling…..)

Cooking:      1 hour.

Course:        Starter or main

Serves:        4

Rating:         2:  Easy

Find for two people:-

  • 4 medium sized green or coloured courgettes (as straight as possible)
  • Half of each a red, green and yellow peppers – as wrinkly as you like
  • Red onion
  • Garlic – I used 3 big cloves
  • Aubergine (optional)
  • Leek (optional)
  • Mushrooms (optional)
  • Cepes (optional)
  • Sweet potato (optional) – these ‘optional’ veg may be used as variations of the ‘canoe’ theme, alternatively, use a bit of each!
  • Oil (I prefer olive, but you use what you want to – except engine/baby)
  • Possibly pine nuts or sesame seeds to add texture to the mixture
  • Black olives for each end of each canoe, if you want to trim the courgette ends off.
  • Other bits I haven’t even thought of yet….give me time……
  • Oven (roasting) tin
  • Ceramic serving/oven dishes


  • Split the plumpish courgettes straight down the middle, lengthwise. Leave their ends on – or cut the ends off and use pitted black olives to bung up the open ends.  I like the olives…….
  • Spoon out the seedy middles so that you have about a 6mm (1/4”) thick wall of flesh all the way down the courgette. You can incorporate the middles in the mixture…..or not, as you wish.  I do.
  • Liberally sprinkle black pepper into the eight empty ‘canoes’, aad a small mountof oil and then season with sea salt.
  • I cooked them in a hot oven for 20 mins at this point.  If you prefer your courgettes to be firmer, omit this bit.
  • Here we go with the wrinkly ‘reduced cabinet’ peppers again. Put half of a green, yellow and a red pepper, cut into chunky squares, a couple of small red onions or one large one cut into quite big chunks, a few wrinkly mushrooms (they don’t HAVE TO be wrinkly, it’s just that if they are, it’s fine…), pine nuts or sesame seeds and the middles from the courgettes into a frying pan with a big glug of olive oil and fry until lovely and soft.  You might, if you have time, like to remove the skins (see Tricks’n’Tips) from the peppers first – whilst it lessens the visual impact of the colour it means that you don’t have indigestible pepper skins in the dish, eventually sticking to your teeth!…….  Your choice.
  • When the mixture is cooked down nicely, drizzle a little olive oil and tiny drop of water into each of the canoes and spoon the mixture in evenly. Heap it up.
  • Season well and put the filled canoes into an oiled roasting tin or oven dish sprinkled with water. It helps to have a container that is just big enough for all of the canoes, so that the courgettes are being held in shape and supported by the sides of the dish.
  • You can sprinkle with parmesan at this point, should you wish.
  • Pop ’em into a pre-heated 200 degree C oven so that the courgettes cook in their own steam for an hour or so. If you use a presentable dish, they come straight out to the table looking rather nice.

And there you are; pair of them on saffron basmati rice as a veggie main course, using any combination of butter-fried aubergine, sautéed leek, sweet potato, shitake/wild mushrooms and pine nuts as a filling, or anything else for that matter.  You have the use of the canoe as the container – fill it with something nice.

The pic shows them presented on lentils and baked aubergine slices, having been grilled for ten minutes.



Originally a middle-eastern dish, it is much better known here now.

It can be served as a nice starter or just a late-night snack.

Prep:           10 mins.

Cooking:      0 mins.

Course:        Starter, lunch or snack

Serves:        AMAR  – as many as required – (1 can will feed 3 – 10 according to how much they eat – obviously.)

Rating:         2:  Easy


There are a great many differing recipes for humus.  The chick peas and Tahini are common to all.  Some have paprika, some have parsley.


  • Can of chick peas
  • 2 tablespoons Tahini
  • 1+ clove garlic
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • Olive oil for top
  • Fresh (curled) parsley if you can purloin some
  • Food processor or liquidiser


  • Open the can of chick peas, drain out the liquid and rinse the can contents under the cold tap. Drain well.
  • Put them into a liquidiser/food processor.
  • Peel and chop a clove (or two…. or three) of garlic and put together with the Tahini (creamed sesame seed paste, bought in a jar – see Tricks’n’Tips), about a couple of good tablespoons should do.
  • Pour into a container, add the lemon juice (no pips please; we’re British!) and mix well. Allow it all to settle and cool in the fridge for a couple of hours.
  • Pour a little olive oil on top and serve with toast, crispbreads, toasted pitta…..


Cheese on beans on toast:

Cheese on beans on toast:


Prep:           5 mins.

Cooking:      10 mins.

Course:        Snack Lunch Midnight

Serves:        AMAR  (as many as required….)

Rating:         1:  Very easy – no; it’s easier than that; let’s rate it as ½ ….

In other words you can do it in your sleep..


  • Hard cheese – no, that’s not a comment….(Cheddar, Leicester or similar)
  • Can of baked beans (that’s baked beans in a can, y’know? You’ll be able to tell, cos it’ll say Baked Beans on the label.)
  • Sliced bread (or bread, then slice it to make…. er…. slices)
  • Butter if required
  • Lea & Perrins Worcestershire Sauce bottle – preferably with some Worcestershire Sauce actually still in it.
  • Grill (no, you CANNOT use a toaster when there are beans in the recipe….. don’t be a Dumbo, ……..)
  • Cheese grater


  • ‘Turn on’ the grill (that doesn’t mean you have to buy it a drink and tell it that it’s looking beautiful today…..).
  • Grate your cheese. Use a hard cheese like Leicester or Cheddar or something similar – not Edam as it doesn’t melt readily under the grill.

Note:  Supermarket ‘value mild, coloured’ cheese is generally tasteless and pretty ‘orrible.

  • Use a normal hand-held coarse cheese grater on top of a plate or something clean that will catch the grated cheese (or have it ready-grated in the fridge, courtesy of Ikea or Asda – see Tricks’n’Tips for an explanation of that statement; it’s good!).
  • Ok, now take your bread from its packet and put it onto the grill pan. That’s the bread; not the packet.

Now WAIT….  Whatever grill you have it will take a time to get going.  Think of yourself on a Monday morning – don’t YOU take a while to get going?                                                              (These days I take time to get going ANY morning.)

  • After the grill has been heating up for a few minutes, put the bread under the now hot grill (cos it’s been on for 5 mins) and keep an eye on it. It just needs to brown a bit

My ol’ Dad had a good saying……

“When it’s brown, it’s done…… 

When it’s black, it’s buggered.”  

It may not be quite politically correct to describe it as such, but as a piece of advice it’s very true.

  • The best method is to toast one side of the bread under the grill, take it out and spread butter on the untoasted side (you can omit the butter if you want to be a health freak) and put the warmed up baked beans (either in a pan or in a non-metallic bowl in the microwave) on the bread. Season with black pepper, but not salt – there’s already enough salt in the can of baked beans to pay a division of Roman Centurions for a year; and sugar too.
  • Load the coarsely grated cheese onto the same side, atop the beans, just squashing it all down a bit to stop it from falling off the edges.

Ensure that the crust edges are covered as well as possible as otherwise they will suffer from burn.

  • Ok, so now, reach for the Lea & Perrins Worcestershire Sauce bottle. Just give the cheese a bit of a splash of the sauce.
  • Now do it again. Lea & Perrins makes crappy cheese taste really great – believe me (even the cheap supermarket ‘value, mild, coloured’ cheese variety is improved – but L&P’s is not a complete miracle worker).  Ok, put the loaded up slices (carefully now – you may need to slide a spatula underneath to support it better….. don’t drop it…….) back onto the grill pan and pop it back under the grill.  When the cheese has melted, so that it is all bubbly and gooified, it’s ready.

STOP!  Check again.  Don’t take it out too early; remember that you loaded the cheese onto the slices to cover the edges to avoid burn…….You did…. didn’t you?

  • Ok, out from under the grill, onto a plate, cut into half slices (or quarters if you’re a wuss) and CONSUME WITH GUSTO (if you can find her).

See, my lovely peeps?  Good, eh?    Stick with me, kiddoes; I’ll look after yer.