Chorizo-speared Chicken

Yes, SPEARED!  Or INJECTED!  No photo – sorry.  It just wasn’t possible to take a photo as it was consumed so quickly.

Ok, SO I FORGOT!  Anyway, it’s easy.

For 4 people, find:

  • 4 large chicken breasts, each cut into 4 pieces, lengthways.
  • A chorizo sausage, or, failing that, sliced chorizo in a pack.
  • Chicken stock – or 2 chicken stock cubes and a mug of boiling water
  • Oil/Frylight
  • Seasonings as nec
  • Oven foil
  • Oven tray/dish
  • Frying pan
  • A long-bladed sharp knife

Method A:  (Chorizo in a sausage)

  • Cut the chorizo sausage into 32 batons about 3mm thick and 5 cms long (about 1/8″ thick and 2″ long in old money).
  • Take each of the 16 chicken pieces (hopefully all the same-ish sizes) and spear them to make a 2″ deep hole from each end, then wiggle it about to ensure that the hole will take the baton of chorizo, making it vanish from view.

Method B:  (Chorizo in a pack of slices)

  • Cut each slice of chorizo into two.
  • Take each of the 16 chicken pieces (hopefully all the same-ish sizes) and spear them to make small incisions to take each curled-up piece of chorizo, however many that might be.  Leave them sticking out of each incision like mouse ears.  It’ll look fun!

Method both: (in other words, continue from either A or B…..)

  • Lay all double-chorizo-speared chicken pieces into an oven tray/dish and chuck the stock over the top.
  • Season as you wish.  Remember that chorizo tends to already have an amount of salt, so……
  • Cover with foil and pop into a medium oven set at about Gas5/375F/190C for a while.  How long?  How long to drink a glass of wine?  How do I know how big your wine glasses are?  Waddaya mean “Red or white”?  I don’t care!  Oh, I suppose 20 minutes or so then.  Or more.  Or less.  This is not described as “Approximation Cookery for nuthin’ y’know!
  • Whenever it sees daylight again, remove the foil, take out the chicken and chuck (get it?) into a frying pan with a little oil or fry light and get ’em sizzlin’.  You want colour on the chicken.  Not for long.  No, YOU decide… can see the friggin’ colour…..
  • Use the stock to make a gravy if you wish (or sauce, if you’re posh).
  • Serve with whatever you feel like.  .  We had my lovely wild, red and basmati rice mixture (look it up in the recipe bank!) and sugar snap & baby corn.
  • I actually put the stock into a previously made jarred-red-pepper sauce (the one that I said should be illegal cos it’s so friggin’ easy!).  It was luvverley!




Salmon with a Lime & Chilli butter

One of our simple meals.  A salmon steak, served with hot new spuds and a salad.  Our U3A TLC for August was very simple, but delicious.  TLC?  The Luncheon Club, where we supply a two or three course lunch for U3A members.  Good fun.  We did two this month, one for twelve and one for eight.

Salmon?  Skin it and gently pan fry it.  Simples!

Spuds?  Boil & butter.

Salad?  Yeah, right.


For six people, find:

  • 2 limes
  • A little sweet chilli sauce, or a couple of chillis, or some dried chilli seeds.  I used seeds.
  • One red onion
  • Two or three cloves of garlic
  • Cheese grater
  • Juicer
  • Frying pan
  • A little oil
  • A quarter of a pack of butter (2oz)
  • Seasonings


  • Peel and chop the red ion as finely as possible – see Tricks’n’Tips for the best way….
  • Peel and chop the garlic as finely as possible – see Tricks’n’Tips for the best way….
  • Gently fry the onions and garlic on a very low heat in the lightly oiled frying pan for 5-10 mins, keeping it all moving so that it doesn’t colour up.
  • Grate the zest (outer green skin) from both limes
  • Cut the limes in half and extract the juice.  Put with the zest.
  • Chop the chilli seeds and add them as necessary.  I can’t tell you how many cos you gotta taste it to know.  Or chopped chillis.  Your choice.
  • Add the lime zest and juice and cook for a further 2-3 mins.  Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper.
  • Add the butter, stirring all the time.
  • Turn out the heat until it is needed, when you can just raise the temperature again to serve, plopping a reasonable dollop (dollop size is not quantifiable….sorry….) onto the salmon.  Serve with the salad and spuddies.
  • You could, if you’re a flash git, serve a thinly sliced piece of lime as a garnish.  (I did, cos I am!)



Toulouse Sausages on a bed of sliced veg, with a shallot sauce – YUM!

I did this a few days ago when we had people staying with us here in France.  We have more staying with us now and I’m doing it again today as it was soooooo well received by the last lot.

Well, I didn’t want to just plonk two Toulouse sausages onto each plate and put stuff around it.  Borin’.  Even if they are wonderful genuine Toulouse sausages from about an hour and a half away, in Toulouse!

Find, for four people:

  • 8 Toulouse sausages
  • 3 red onions (other colours are….)
  • Courgette – I used a half of one large one
  • 1 large red pepper (other colours are….)
  • 3 carrots of varying lengths
  • French beans – I’m sorry: I am so sloppy that I didn’t count ’em….
  • New spuds – these were local French Grenaille, but in Britland you’d use Charlotte, Exquisa or similar – and I didn’t count them either!  I suppose about 12-16 ish?
  • Two packets of eschalotte sauce (Shallot sauce) bought for centimes
  • Garlic cloves – optional as to whether you use them or not, and if you do, as to quantity…..
  • Flan tin (Well, that’s what I used anyway)
  • Saucepan
  • I also used a Mandolin to cut the veg….and I still have all my fingertips (of course, you can use a sharp knife, but I wanted to play…..)
  • Oil/FryLight
  • Remember that all quantities/amounts are variable – it doesn’t really matter.  Don’t be a slave to a recipe.


  • Boil the new spuds for five minutes in slightly salted water.  Lift out of the water (you’ll use it later) and put them  aside.
  • Oil or FryLight the flan tin (whatever you use)  according to regime requirements
  • Cut the courgette into thin (no, thinner than that) discs and lay them flat onto the bottom of the flan tin, overlapping hem as nec.
  • Peel the onions.  Cut some into quarters, some into very thin rings (that’s right….thinner than….)  Break them all apart and sprinkle them daintily over the courgettes – or just chuck ’em on, like I did.Toulouse 1
  • Peel and chop the garlic if you’re using it.  Of course you’re using it!
  • Sprinkle it over so that it falls between the onion bits.
  • De-seed and cut up the pepper(s) and chuck ’em on as well. (You’d be well advised to leave the skin side uppermost to cook the skin well…. as you can see that I painstakingly did, below….. not).Toulouse 2
  • Cut each of the Toulouse sausages into four, five or more chunks.
  • Scatter the sausages and the new spuds evenly as possible around the flan tin.Toulouse 3
  • Oil the contents of the flan tin (or do the FryLight biz again) and either
    • a.  put the flan tin into the oven at 200C or
    • b.   under a hot grill – but inform the local fire brigade so that they don’t get called out on a shout unnecessarily…..
  • ….to cook.  Time may be variable.  Probably 25-30 minutes, but if under the grill, keep taking the tin out and turning the sausages.  If in the oven, just leave it.
  • Peel the carrots and trim the ends of the French beans.  Cut the carrots as you like ’em, and cut the beans into short lengths.  Boil them in the spud water for 10-15 minutes.  You can use the water as a base for soup, use it as hot water for washing up or just chuck it, but remember that you’ve paid to heat it up.
  • Either pour the sauces into a saucepan if they are liquid, or make them up if they’re powdered.  Not exactly rocket science here…..
  • Check on the way that the flan tin contents are cooking.  They may need more time, according to how effective your grill/oven may be.
  • Take out the flan tin.
  • Chuck on the carrots & French beans and pour the sauce over the centre (the sauce will effectively re-heat the extra veg.)
  • It’s a dun tin!  Use a large scoop or serving spoon to shovel it onto yer plates.

(I took a photo of the cooked and completed dish this time but instead of using packet sauce, I made my own and it was a colour that reminded me of something I’d rather not think about, and as it also contained sweetcorn, it looked like my dog had….. well, anyway, it was not at all photogenic.  🙂 So, sorry, but believe me, it tasted really great, and I have been asked for the recipe. )

Soupe de tomates et des carrottes

Right then, chappies…… here’s one for you.


Simply translated:


  • 4 tomatoes
  • 4 carrots
  • 4 potatoes
  • 1 onion
  • Fresh basil
  • Salt
  •  Pepper


  • Peel the veg (personally,  I wouldn’t bother as you’re gonna liquidise the whole thing anyway…… and carrot skin hold LOADS o’flavour….) and pop it in a saucepan.
  • Put in enough water (personally,  I’d use a veg stock, a chicken stock  or at last resort….. a couple of chicken OXOs!) to barely cover.
  • Cook the veg for 20 minutes.
  • Blitz the lot (it might be wit a stick blender, i might be in a standard worktop blender…… but just liquidise it all!
  • Taste and add salt & pepper to taste.
  • Tear up the fresh basil leaves and enjoy!

This is a recipe that has just today been published in  a French newspaper.  But without my muddifications……..

So simply ENJOY!


Mash with lush!


Yesterday, whilst visiting good friends just a bit north and slightly inland of us, they reminded me of a nice way to enrich/enrichen/make more gorgeousified our old friend the ubiquitous mashed spud.  We were just knocking around some ideas about just about anything and everything and one of the couple…. we’ll call him Jason; cos that’s his name….. mentioned the old trick of putting an egg in mash.  I confess, I had forgotten this, and him mentioning it brought it back from deep in the depths of my brain – and it’s deep, believe me!, so I thought that I’d mention it here.  The thing that is really significant is that under Slimming World (to my mind the better system of planned weight loss), eggs are ‘free’.  Now, that doesn’t mean that you don’t need to pay for ’em, it means that they can be freely used – you can have as many as you like.  Of course, if you take it as completely correct, a diet of twelve dozen eggs in a week might cause you a bit of bother, and you’d probably have to do what the accountant does…..

… it out with a pencil…..

…… but eggs don’t have amy ‘syn value’, so popping an egg yolk into mash is a great idea.  Milk, cream, butter, yak fat, etc all have syns, but eggs don’t.

Now, I have a S/W expert to whom I’m going to mention this, but on the face of it, it looks like the old memory bank has been re-enlivened (or simply woked-up). – enjoy your more engorgeousened mash! (I love inventing words 🙂 )

Happiness….it seems that it’s right.  Ok, that’s for me next…….


Simple Roasted Red Pepper Sauce (so easy, it must be illegal!)

Honest, it’s so easy that there has to be a law against it.

  • Go into Lidl or Aldi (other budget supermarkets are available…..) and grab a jar of roasted red peppers off the shelf.
  • Pay the pittance that they cost
  • Open the jar and take out three peppers.  You’ll find that they’re all floppy, but then, if YOU’D been in that jar all that time, you wouldn’t be all that……  OK, I digress.
  • Drain them off, but don’t dry them.  Pop ’em into a food processor/liquidiser and blitz ’em.
  • Hey Presto/Abracadabra (other magic type exclamations are available….) and you have a wonderful sauce.
  • Add either balsamic vinegar or Worcestershire sauce to give it piquancy if you wish, but it’s hardly necessary.
  • Use it with white fish, chicken, seafood……

Bacon Jam?

I have just heard a spot on Radio Suffolk about Syms Pantry and their Bacon Jam.


No, it’s not a sweet preserve flavoured with bacon, it’s a savoury jam or relish and all the piggy bits are from Suffolk.  It sounds deeelish!  There are lots of variations of the basic ‘jam’, so it looks quite a venture.

I must get me gills around some when back in Britland.  Meanwhile, you could beat me to it by visiting Hadleigh Show this weekend (20th May) or Suffolk Show in a couple of weeks time (end May, start June).  Alternatively, look up Syms Pantry, or go to for a look.

Worth a go, I reckon!

Aspergers Berjers… (or Beef Burgers with Asparagus…..) on potato chippings/cubes and a sauteed melange

Aspergers berjers2You must forgive an ol’ git, but this needs some explaining.  Here’s the reasoning:

  • This is a lovely recipe which uses the bits of asparagus which you would normally discard.  My favourite phrase (well, one of ’em anyway) being “Don’t Waste Taste”.
  • Asparagus in France is known as asperge.
  • We are currently in our little ‘Lovenest’ in southern France.
  • This book (albeit currently here in blog form) is free to use, but there is a Just Giving account attached to it (which I never look at) which is for the benefit of The New Skill Centre, Ipswich, which is where our lad, David, goes every day as he has Aspergers Syndrome, which is a form of autism….. starting to get the drift?
  • Thus, Aspergers Berjers is a play on words; asparagus burgers? – ok, not a very good play on words, but….
  • As far as I’m concerned, I’m doing the work of producing this tome of good cooking, so it’s down to The New Skill Centre, Ipswich to promote it for their benefit.  The more they promote, the more it’ll raise.  Their fund-raising team will get to it soon I’m sure, and then the coffers may start to swell.
  • (Just by the way, I spent years wondering why there was no ham in a hamburger.  Little did I realise that the ‘burger’ is a dish from Hamburg in Germany.  The people are known as Hamburgers.  “Ah, I see now….” I hear you utter in unison! – Yeah, right!)

So, let’s start again.  This dish utilises bits of the asparagus that you would normally discard.  I don’t discard much asparagus as it’s too friggin’ expensive to chuck.  I prepare the asparagus as I describe in the Tricks’n’Tips section, and then I take the rough end bits that have been broken off and salvage a good amount of it for other uses.

  • Asparagus is expensive.  Lovely, but expensive.  Many people simply cut the spears all the same length and discard the tails.
  • STOP!  DON’T DO IT!  Don’t Waste Taste!
  • Hold each spear in both hands and bend it.  Work your way from the thick end (that’s been nearest the ground) until it snaps.  The fibres will determine where it’s best to break.  Put the broken-off ends (tails) aside.  You will use the lovely bits that they call the spears as your main vegetable.
  • The broken-off ends of asparagus have fibres that are long and tough.  That’s why it broke off where it did on each of the spears.  Thus, you can’t use them in the form of spears as they’ll taste great but have the texture of a cruise-liner’s mooring rope.
  • However, if you use a sharp knife on a chopping board, you can slice off quite a few thin slices of asparagus, until the knife starts to become difficult to get through it.  Doing this to all the spears will probably get you thirty or forty narrow discs of asparagus out of a bunch, all of which have very short fibres ; all of which would normally be discarded.
  • Add to that the action of taking these bits that are too hard to salvage even as discs and cutting them lengthways, in the direction of the fibres, into narrow strips and using them to make a subtle but flavoursome stock by boiling them for twenty minutes in just enough water to cover them.  Then, and only then, can the shredded tail ends be discarded.
  • Of course, if you wish to be swish, and serve your asparagus all the same length, you can slice off the unequal length of tails from the good bits, adding those discs to whatever you’re making.
  • Asparagus doesn’t take much cooking, especially the thin stuff.  Just gently pan-fried in a minuscule drop of oil or butter with plenty of seasoning.

So, what did I do for the Aspergers Berjers?


Prep:          30 mins.

Cooking:      Spuds 50 mins, the rest, 20 mins

Course:        Dinner/dinner party

Serves:       4 (or 6 if you’re mean….depends on the size of the pack of mince and the size of the burgers)

Rating:         2.  Easy. You can do it…… YEAH!

For four people, find:

  • A pack of beef mince – enough for four – use your bonce to gauge quantity.  5% fat is good, but if you’re not following a ‘regime’ it won’t matter….5; 10; 15; 20.  (You see, I try to make everything “Slimming World Aware”, which means that I try to cut down the fat content, or at least give you, the cook, an opportunity to do so.)
  • 2 onions – red is my choice, but….
  • Garlic cloves – quantity and type are your choice – I used 8 large fresh/wet
  • Asparagus – a good sized bunch
  • Potatoes – enough for 4 people
  • Carrots & or French beans – very optional
  • A bit of red pepper
  • A bit of yellow pepper
  • Seasonings – salt, pepper, a little curry powder or chili powder (careful!)
  • Oil or Fry-Light
  • Stock cube
  • Saucepan
  • Frying pan – or two would be better…
  • Food processor
  • A couple of bowls, one larger than the other.
  • Oven dish/baking tray/oven tin/flan tin/old bit of metal that you found by the side of the road…..washed, of course.


  • Peel the spuds and cut into 1cm cubes.  Pop ’em into a saucepan with boiling water and just soften ’em a bit: about 5-10 mins.   Retain the water.
  • Peel the optional carrots and cut into whatever shape you prefer.  Top’n’tail the optional French beans.  Put both aside for later.  (You’ll see these on the pic, but the dish didn’t really need them, so you can just forget ’em if you wish).
  • Do the biz with the asparagus, as above.  Put half of the thin circles into a food processor. The other half in a bowl of some sort.  Keep the spears (whether identical lengths or not) for later.
  • Cut the onions.  Put half of one onion, chopped medium sized, into the food processor.  Put the rest  into the smaller bowl.
  • Peel the garlic cloves and put them into the bowl.
  • Cut the peppers (colour and quantity your choice) into quite large chunks and put them into the bowl.
  • Blitz the onions and asparagus discs until tiny and put into a larger bowl, with the pack of minced beef, broken up.  Mix with a fork.
  • Add the curry/chili powder, the salt, quite a bit of pepper (black?)  and mix thoroughly.  Scrunch it up with your hands.  Mix/scrunch well into a gooey mixture/scrunchture. (I don’t give a shit that it’s not a word….. it SHOULD BE!)
  • Make balls and then flatten them into burgers.   If they do not behave and fall apart, bung it all back in the bowl, add an egg and mix/scrunch again.  It’s a good thing to put the burger shapes onto a bit of greaseproof paper/baking parchment, on a plate.  Stuff ’em into the fridge for an hour or so, or overnight.  If you wish to apply any other flavours, add them before the fridge.
  • Start to boil the carrots & beans if you’re gonna have them.
  • Put the potato cubes onto a metal sheet or oven dish, spray liberally with Fry-Light, and then again…..and then again (or just use oil), seasoning and then put into an oven at 200+C for half an hour.
  • Heavily Fry-Light the frying pan (or just use oil) and start the contents of the bowl lightly frying on a medium heat.  Put the asparagus spears in as well.
  • In a smaller frying pan, fry off the burgers.  It might be nice to sprinkle a little more curry powder on each surface just as they are about to be fried.  Your choice.  Medium heat – we don’t want them blackened at all.  Golden brown’s what you’re aiming for. “When they’re brown, they’re done……when they’re black they’re buggered!” as my dad use to say.
  • Put the stock cubes into the potato/veg water (yes, even if the veg is still in there)
  • Turn the burgers quite often.  Agitate the melange & asparagus quite often.  Check on the spud cubes too.  They need to be crisping up.
  • Get the plates ready.  You can warm the plates in hot washing-up water and then they’re warm for the meal (dry ’em up though….)
  • Spread the crispy cubes, the melange, etc.  Put the asparagus down the middle and a burger each side.  Pour the ‘gravy’ on sparingly, it’s only there for a little moisture.
  • Go fer it!