Prep: 20 mins.
Cooking: 10 mins.
Rating: 3: Moderate
For 4 people, Find:
- Lamb mince, a supermarket pack of 400 to 500g.
- 1 Onion (I like red, you can choose your own colour – perhaps blue?).
- Extras, like herbs, pine-nuts, sun dried tomatoes….?
- Oil (Avoid Teak, 3-in1, Engine, Baby…..)
- Large-ish mixing bowl (mine’s plastic)
- Frying pan
- Your hands; washed
- Finely chop the red onion.
- With a fork, break up the lamb mince as much as possible into a bowl with the onion.
- Mix it all together, firstly with a fork. Then use yer clean mitts (your well-cleaned hands, to the uninitiated) to really scrunch up the mince & onion together. Season it well – add plenty of ground black pepper (beware of using white pepper), a good amount of sea salt and a pinch (or two… or three… or however many you wish) of dried Mick’s Terbs…… oh yes, sorry, mixed herbs (see Tricks’n’Tips). Mix/scrunch in really well.
- You can put in other things as well, like roasted/toasted pine-nuts or finely chopped sun-dried tomatoes, etc, should you wish.
- Go on – use your initiative – but just don’t put everything in all at once, like I did when I was learning to cook. It was ‘orrible when I did that.
- Now, this is a great opportunity to really let out the inhibitions. Really scrunch it up to your heart’s content – it is important to mix it all in well.
- Form the mixture/scrunchture (is that a word?… I don’t think so – but it ought to be) into balls, making multiples of four if you have four people (multiples of three if you have three people, etc) out of the amount you have there in the bowl. Really press the mixture into those balls. Use lots of pressure.……. go on, squeeeeeeeeeeeeze!
- Ok, so now you need to flatten the balls into a sort of thick burger shape (yes, thick – duh). Really try to make the burgers stay stuck together. It has to be thick.
- Make ’em into the shape of sheep….. Everything will then be SHEEPSHAPE! (Aw….forget it!)
If it all goes ‘tits up’ (an oft-used technical term within the high-class catering industry to denote a plan that has not quite worked out correctly), put the whole lot back into the bowl, sqidge it all up again (an oft-used technical term within the high-class catering industry to describe…….) and add an egg that you have broken into a cup and mixed up with a fork, so that it’s all…. er….. mixed; then go back into super-scrunch/sqidgey-hand mode. The egg will make it a little more fluid – a softer mixture. Try making the balls again, then the burger shapes. This time it’ll all be great. Trust me. They do benefit from having about 30 mins+ in the fridge after shaping, if you can do it – especially if they’re for the barbecue….
- When you have the number of burger shapes you want, put a frying pan on the heat and put a little oil in it.
- Put the burgers into the frying pan and as soon as the sizzling starts, turn it down to almost minimum.
- Keep the burgers just sizzling a bit for about five minutes or so, or longer if necessary. What you are doing is forming a crust on the bottom (that is THE bottom, not YOUR bottom), so that they will stay in the burger shape when you gently turn them over using two utensils – two forks, a fish slice and a fork, a big spoon and a fork…… whatever.
GENTLY I said.
If they break up, you’ve been too brutal – then you’ll just have to serve up Crispy Fried Lamb Mince Pieces (see the section called ‘Oh Bugger…. PANIC! ’ in Tricks’n’Tips).
- Fry for another five minutes on the other side until they are thoroughly cooked.
(I said COOKED not F……; you want a crust, not a cinder!). Serve with…. er…. anything
- The excess will freeze well, so you can make ‘em, cook ‘em and freeze ‘em to eat at a time later on. Good economy. More money for the pub.