Christmas Vodka cake:

Christmas Vodka cake:

As people have heard that I’ve been assembling this book, I have received endless requests for me to include my Russian uncle’s Vodka Christmas Cake recipe, so here goes.  Just read it – it’s a Russian classic!

You MUST read through carefully before you start to make it though, otherwise you will become SOOOOOO confooosed!

Prep:           Varies.

Cooking:      As long as it takes.

Course:        Well, as it’s called a cake, there might be a hint in the title….

Serves:         Never managed to find out.

Rating:         I really can’t remember


  • 1…bottle Vodka
  • Flour
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 tsp. baking powder
  • 2 cups dried fruit.
  • 1 cup water
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • Lemon juice
  • 4 large eggs
  • Nuts or something


  • Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality.
  • Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be really sure it is of the highest quality then repeat.
  • Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
  • Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
  • At this point, it is best to make sure the Vodka is still OK. Try another cup just in case.
  • Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eeggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dry of cupped fruit.
  • Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.
  • Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
  • Sample the Vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.
  • Check the Vodka.
  • Now shit….. shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.
  • Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
  • Turn the cake tin 380 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
  • Finish the Vodka and wipe the counter with the cat.
  • Merry Christmas!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s