Three Bean Night-time Veggie Pot For Hungry Fellers of an Intoxicated and Possibly Rowdy Nature:

Three Bean Night-time Veggie Pot For Hungry Fellers of an Intoxicated and Possibly Rowdy Nature:

Prep:           5 mins.

Cooking:      10 mins, if that.  Re-heat in the pan or in the microwave.

Course:        Late-night-snack

Serves:        AMAR – see text

Rating:         1:  Pi**ed-as-a-fart-Easy (when not too pi**ed, that is……)

This is an ideal quick veggie feast that is ideal for a bunch o’hungry boys after a night out on the tiles.  It is nice to have this ready-made before you go out.

Don’t leave it cooking though; make sure that the cooker is off whilst you are out otherwise you’ll either return to a house full of smoke – or no house.

For 3, 4, 5 or 6 fellers, depending on the ravenousnousnous (a technical term for degree of extreme hunger suffered by bunches of fairly intoxicated blokes returning from the boozer, avoiding the kebab shop) of your friends:

  • 1 Tin red kidney beans (or mixed bean salad, or barlotti beans, or…)
  • 1 Tin chopped tomatoes
  • 1 Tin butter beans
  • 1 Tin baked beans
  • Got any left-over cheese?
  • Chilli flakes or chilli powder (don’t overdo it now……..)
  • Possibly a little paprika if you have it, for flavour not heat
  • Salt to taste
  • Saucepan – probably fairly large… go borrow a big one….
  • Colander


  • Put the red kidney beans into a colander and rinse thoroughly under the cold tap.

Tinned/canned red kidney beans really do need this very thorough rinsing stage otherwise they’ll be horrible.  Ugh.

  • Put them into the saucepan. Put the chopped tomatoes in there too.  Put the saucepan on the heat.
  • Add the baked beans.
  • Rinse the butter beans as you did with the red kidneys. Put them in.
  • Bring up to the boil.
  • Add chilli flakes or powder. I prefer the flakes as the effect can be tasted quite quickly.  Powder can sometimes fail to dissolve properly and can distribute unevenly, leaving super-hot pockets.
  • Pop any cheese in that you have left over from….. but try to take the green furry bits off first (not that any bugger’ll notice if you don’t).
  • Give the saucepan a good stir, leave for 5 minutes and then taste. If more is needed, repeat.
  • Add a little sprinkling of paprika for taste, too. Give a good mix and turn the heat out.
  • Leave for your return with the fellers, when you can heat it up again (it’s always better second time that it’s heated – possibly in the pot; possibly in the microwave).
  • Serve either on toast or just plopped in a dish – most probably with a tinny or two.
  • Leave the messed-up carpet until the morning, and then get a carpet cleaning machine in – and someone quiet to use it. Preferably someone quite attractive………

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